


Crisis

by pcworth



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 11:04:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10852665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pcworth/pseuds/pcworth
Summary: Emma gets shot in the line of duty, causing more than just worry for her wife





	1. Chapter 1

"Is she ok?" Regina said rushing into the hospital and seeing Henry, Snow and Charming.

"We don't know," Snow said.

"What happened?"

"She was responding to an armed robbery. She must have gotten there just as the guy was coming out. She didn't even get her gun out before he shot her," Charming said.

"Where was she shot at? How bad is it?"

"Um, it is bad."

Regina felt the breath leave her. She didn't remember sitting down but there she was on a hard plastic chair with Snow beside her telling her it was all going to be ok. She looked down and saw she had been unconsciously fiddling with her wedding band. She still wasn't used to it after three months she was still messing with it periodically throughout the day. Usually when she caught herself she would smile, but this time she didn't. All she could think of was how her wife, the one who had placed it on her finger, was now fighting for her life.

"Emma Swan-Mills, you better be ok," she said to herself.


	2. Chapter 2

They were waiting for hours before Dr. Whale finally came out to give them an update on Emma's status. Regina held on to Henry's hand, or maybe he was holding on to hers – she didn't really know after sitting there for four hours.

Charming and Snow had tried to convince her she should go home and rest – not stress herself out, but she refused. As long as her wife was there she wasn't going home.

"How is she?" Charming asked first.

"She lost a lot of blood. We were able to retrieve the bullets but during the operation, she flat-lined a couple of times. We were able to bring her back but right now she's in critical condition. One of the bullets nicked the left ventricle. She's in a coma. I'm sorry."

Regina felt hands on her this time guiding her back to a chair. She heard Charming's voice talking to Whale, but all her mind could register was coma.

"Can I see her?" she asked finally.

It was a while before Emma was settled in ICU and they let Regina up to see her. Regina sent Henry home with Snow during the wait since they would only allow one person in to see Emma tonight. Charming stayed in order to get Regina home safely.

She entered the room, which had a low level of light in it, and she took a seat by the bed that a nurse held for her before leaving her alone. She leaned forward and took Emma's hand. The wedding band wasn't on it, and Regina wondered if it was in her personal belongings somewhere. It was the first time she had seen Emma without it on since the wedding.

She sat there not sure what to do. The nurse had told her that it was common for coma patients to wake and say they heard snippets of what was said to them while in a coma. Regina felt ill-prepared to say anything though.

Her heart felt like it was the one that had been shot.

"Emma," she said. "You need to come back to us. I can't do this by myself. I can't. Please, just open your eyes and look at me. Look at me and tell me it's all going to turn out ok. I need you to say that now because, because I can't to this alone."

She started to cry as she pleaded for Emma to open her eyes. Her other hand lay resting on her now large belly, trying to keep somewhat calm for the child growing inside her.


	3. Chapter 3

Regina left her wife's side, not because she wanted to, but she knew she had to get home and sleep. She could almost hear Emma's voice in her ears. "Regina babe you are eating for two. Regina you need your sleep because that is my baby in there. Regina have you taken your vitamins."

It had been seven and half months of Emma's constant attention and/or nagging. It was like Regina was some fragile egg all of a sudden. Even when they first discovered that it had worked and Regina was pregnant Emma had been on her about taking care of herself. It made Emma seem more endearing to her.

Now Emma was the fragile egg.

She walked out to where Charming was waiting for her.

"How did she seem?"

Regina started to cry and Charming hugged her to his body. "It'll be ok. She's strong. She's got everything in the world to live for."

Emma opened her eyes and realized she was in a hospital bed. "What the hell," she said sitting up. She looked down at body – everything seemed to be in order. She got up out of bed and took two steps before looking back at it. She saw a quick flash and saw what seemed like a woman lying in the bed hooked up to all kinds of machines and wires. She only got the briefest glimpse but it looked like her.

"That is you," a woman's voice said.

She turned to see a woman standing in the doorway to the room.

"Who are you?" Emma asked sensing something familiar about her.

"I'm Eva. I am your grandmother."

Emma looked back at the bed, again catching the barest glimpse. Then she turned back to the door. "Am I dead?"

Eva laughed. "No my dear, you aren't dead. Not yet at least. Follow me, we should talk."

Emma didn't know why but she followed Eva out of the room. They went down a couple of floors and down some halls – the whole time no one looked at them. They ended up in the nursery standing outside the large window where you could see all the newborns.

"Are you nervous?" Eva asked.

"About the fact I may or may not be dying, yes I am nervous."

"No. Are you nervous about the impending birth of your child?"

Emma was getting more weirded out by the moment. "I don't know. I guess a little."

"I would say a lot, and probably for good reason."

"What do you mean by that? Is there something wrong with the baby? Is there something wrong with Regina? Why am I in a hospital? What happened?"

"Calm down Emma."

"Calm down. First you say I am not dying yet, and now you are talking about my unborn child as if I need to be concerned about something. I am far from calming down."

"I suppose I haven't given you much reason to remain calm."

"Just tell me is there something wrong with the baby or with Regina?"

"That has yet to be determined."

"Damn it, just give me a straight answer."

"It's like a domino falling. One falls then the next, then the next. But what happens when one domino doesn't fall, does the whole pattern change? Is everyone ruled by destiny, and if so is there such a thing as free will? Tell me Emma, how much faith do you have in Regina?"

"I have total faith," she said in all seriousness.

"And if that faith were challenged?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean whether or not you get to stand in front of this window and peer into a bassinet with your child in it is no longer something you can affect."

Emma looked in at the babies. Her head was aching and she wasn't even sure that was possible if she was really the woman in the hospital bed hooked to a machine that was probably keeping her alive. She put her hand against the glass.

"Is this happening because of what I did?"

"It wasn't just you."

"I practically forced her to do it."

"But Regina did it all the same. You didn't. You didn't have the understanding of magic to do it."

"Please. It's not her fault and it sure as hell isn't our baby's fault. If someone needs to be punished for it, it should be me."

"I understand you and Regina don't know the sex of the baby."

"We wanted to be surprised."

"It's a girl."

Emma sunk to her knees and started to cry. She didn't understand what was going on. Was this real? She wanted to ask for help to feel her wife's arms around her. She needed Regina to tell her it was all going to be alright. But she wasn't sure that was true. Regina had warned her that all magic came with a price.

She looked up to ask Eva another question, but the other woman was gone.

She was alone.


	4. Chapter 4

Emma felt hands on her pulling her back up. She allowed the person to do it and as she came up she realized she was no longer in the hospital. She was at the sheriff's station.

"Are you ok?"

She turned fully. "Graham?"

"It's been a long time," he said.

"You're dead. Why do I keep seeing dead people? Will you explain to me what is going on?"

He gave her a sad smile, "I am only here to show you things, not really explain them. It's open to your interpretation."

"Do you remember why you are in the hospital?"

She tried to remember, which made the pain in her head increase. "There was a robbery…"

"That's right. Let's go for a walk."

They walked out of the station and down the street. Again if they passed by people those people made no indication they could see her or Graham. She studied Graham. He had the same eyes that seemed to collect every emotion he was feeling, but he also seemed different – like he no longer had worries. It was kind of peace that she had never known him to have.

They neared the local hardware store and Emma slowed. In her head she heard the dispatcher's tone out for an armed robbery. She stopped.

"You have to keep going," Graham said.

He put a hand on her arm and urged her to move closer. She took several more steps but she couldn't go any further. She saw her patrol car pulling up to the curb. She saw herself get out of the car as the suspect ran out of the store. "Stop!" she yelled, and the suspect stopped, turned toward her. She saw him raise the gun at her, but she didn't move.

She heard the sounds of the gun discharging. The first missed, but the next two –she fell back to the pavement. Pain like she had never felt before ripped through her body. She heard people – someone yelled for an ambulance.

"Regina," she choked out. "Love you."

Her eyes closed.

Emma backed up and felt Graham's hands on her arms keeping her upright.

"Why didn't you draw your gun?"

"He … he was what no more than 17 or 18. He was a child still. He is someone's kid," she said.

"They are all someone's kid," Graham said.

"I know," she said.

The ambulance arrived, and so had her father. She watched as they loaded her in, the EMTs a flurry of activity.

"It's just … I am going to be a mother again," she said. "I am going to have a child. Um Eva, she said some stuff about Regina and the baby. Are they going to be ok?"

"I don't know," Graham said. "My understanding is Regina's journey through this is nothing you can affect. She must walk it alone just like you have to. If the love you share is really what you both think it is, then you have chance to come out of this."


	5. Chapter 5

Regina sat at Emma's bedside trying to will her wife to wake up. The tube in her mouth keeping her breathing, the heart monitor, the IVs, all of it made Regina want to flee the room but she knew she couldn't. She needed to be there for Emma.

She thought about the conversation she had with Emma's parents the night before. It wasn't a conversation she had ever planned on having with them, and Emma had been insistent that they not tell her mom and dad until after the baby was born.

Snow had asked her over to dinner – being fairly open about the fact she now felt it was her duty to make sure Regina was eating properly and taking care of herself and the baby while Emma slept. They had finished eating and Henry was watching television while the adults sat in the kitchen.

"Regina, I hate to ask this," Charming said. "But can you use your magic to heal Emma?"

It was a question she had been expecting and dreading at the same time. Emma had been in a coma for three days, but yesterday her heart beat had spiked and then flat lined. They were able to restore her heart beat quickly enough but it had scared all of them. Regina had been at work – trying to keep her mind occupied when Snow had shown up at the office.

The hospital had called her when it happened. She was angry at first that Snow was called, but Snow explained that due to Regina's condition they were all trying to be sensitive about not upsetting her too much because of the baby. She had left work immediately to see Emma, needing to see with her own eyes that her wife was indeed still alive.

The Charmings had to be scared if they were now asking Regina to do magic.

"I would you use magic to heal her if I could, but I can't," she said sadly.

"Why not?"

It wasn't asked with malice, just out of desperation.

Regina sighed. "The healing arts have never been one of my strong suits. It's not as simple as you might think. One doesn't merely wave their hands and heal an injury. You have to have knowledge of anatomy and how things are supposed to work and be put together. Even if I tried I could be doing more harm than good."

"We understand," Snow said. "We just didn't know."

"There is another reason why I can't," Regina said. This would be easier if she and Emma had told them from the beginning. "The fact of the matter is I can't use magic at all. All my magic is currently … occupied."

"What do you mean by that?"

"When Emma and I decided we wanted to add to our family we discussed different options, including adoption. I was fine with that option, obviously having gone through the process with Henry, but I also wanted to know what it was like to carry a child. I wanted to experience giving birth to a whole new life. We looked at insemination as an option and we researched different clinics and went to a few places in Boston to have the process explained. We went as far as looking at the donor profiles trying to find a guy who had traits as close to Emma as we could. And we found one."

"Emma was quiet on the way back," she continued. "I knew something was bothering her but she wouldn't say what. I am not sure which of you she got that trait from but it can be frustrating at times. That night after getting the 'I'm fine' routine from her I finally forced her to tell me what was wrong and that was when she told me that she wasn't feeling comfortable with the idea of some stranger's DNA being mixed with mine to make a baby. I thought she wanted to back out of doing it completely, but that wasn't the case. She was fine with the idea of the insemination process and me carrying the child. It was the stranger's DNA that was bothering her. She pitched an idea that night, one that I was opposed to because of the risks, but she wasn't denying me my wish to carry this child how could I not at least consider her wish?"

"What wish?" Charming asked. "I take it you didn't use a stranger's DNA for the baby. You used someone you know?"

"We used Emma's DNA."

"How?" Snow asked.

"Magic," Regina said simply. "In simple terms I used magic to replace the stranger's DNA in the sperm with Emma's. But to make it work I had to bind my magic to it. My magic is now tied to the baby and so I can't risk using it because if I do I could risk the baby. If I did it right once the baby is born my magic should be free once again, but until then I am handcuffed as it were."

"Why didn't you or Emma tell us this before?"

"She was going to tell you after the baby was born. What I did … I did it for her, but I don't want you to think she pressured me into it. I wanted to do this for her. But it's a risk. Anytime you use magic in new ways there is a risk and magic always comes with a price. Emma has been so attentive not just because she loves me and the baby, but because of how the baby was conceived. We are in unknown territory and while the pregnancy has been coming along as scheduled there have been a couple of complications to me not the baby. The baby is fine, perfectly healthy. As for me, it's nothing major, so please don't worry. When you use magic a lot it will eventually tire you out and for me it's been like having my magic on a low level 24/7for the past seven and half months. I tend to be exhausted by the end of the day.

"The morning sickness never really went away. Most mornings I wake up nauseous and I have to make sure I don't overextend myself that is why Emma had been on me about stopping work until the baby was born. We … um … we argued about the night before she was shot. We went to bed not talking and when I left for work she was still angry at me … and then you called and told me …"

"You and Emma are going to get through this," Snow said putting a comforting hand on hers. "And we are going to be here for you the whole way."

"Thank you."

As she sat watching Emma now she couldn't help but wonder if this wasn't the universe's way of punishing her for using magic to create this life growing inside of her. She got up, having to pee as usual. She took one step when she felt a stabbing pain in her abdomen. She cried out from the pain and tried to maintain her breathing as it passed. She stood there, one hand on the railing of Emma's bed to keep steady; until she was sure the pain had passed. Once it had she took two more steps before it happened again. This time there was no bed to keep her upright. She fell to her knees, her arm instinctively covering her midsection to protect the baby.

She managed to get back to her feet and made her way to the door. She staggered out.

"Are you ok?" someone asked before she passed out.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

Emma wasn't sure how much time had passed. It seemed like no time to her, but she sensed that wasn't really the case. She was back in the hospital in the room where she now realized her body lay. She stood there staring at her body in that bed, willing it to wake up.

She wondered why she was alone in the room. Why wasn't her wife there?

When her father came in, she could tell he hadn't been sleeping and it made her wonder again how much time had passed.

"Hey you," he said, picking her hand. "I know you are in there somewhere – maybe you are resting so you can heal or not ready to wake up yet, but you have to. Do you hear me Emma, you have to wake up."

"I'm trying," she said standing on the other side of the bed from him.

"If you won't get up for yourself, you need to for Regina."

"Why? What's wrong with Regina?" Emma said raising her voice as if that would make Charming hear her. "Dad, what's wrong with Regina?"

"You know your mom and I are going to do our best to watch over her, Henry and you," he said. "But your family needs you right now. You are going to have to fight. Fight through this and come back to us."

"Where is Regina? Is she ok? How is the baby?"

"Would you like to go see them?"

She looked up to see a man she didn't know by the hospital door.

"You can see me?" she asked moving around the bed.

"Of course I can."

"Do I know you?" she asked getting closing. He seemed familiar somehow but she wasn't sure why.

"We have never met, but I am Henry, Regina's father."

"Oh," Emma said. "Um, so you are dead too."

"Yes," he smiled at her. "Not the best circumstances to meet your father-in-law I know."

"Can you take me to see her?"

"Yes," Henry said. "She's not far."

She followed down one flight, not talking, but she kept studying him. Regina never talked much about her parents – Cora, she could understand why. But even her father she didn't like to mention. Emma knew Regina had loved her parents, but she never had to question her father's love for her like she did her mother's.

Emma also knew the truth of how Henry had died, which is why she supposed Regina never mentioned him. She wanted to honor her father which is why she named her son Henry. They got to a hospital room and Emma ran inside. "Regina!"

She stopped short of the bed when she realized Regina couldn't hear or see her. Regina was lying propped up in the hospital bed. Their son Henry and Snow were in the room with her.

"He can't do this to me," Regina said. "I have to be up there with her."

"The doctor wouldn't have ordered bed rest if he didn't think you needed it," Snow said. "I know you want to be at Emma's side, but I think I can speak for her when I say you need to take care of yourself and that baby."

"What happened?" Emma asked the elder Henry.

"She was at your side, and when she stood she started feeling pain in her abdomen. The doctor thinks they were early contractions, but they stopped. She has been ordered on bed rest for at least a week."

"Is the baby ok?"

"Yes, the baby is ok."

"I need to wake up. I need to be here at her side, holding her hand, keeping her calm," Emma said getting stressed. "This isn't fair. If someone should be punished over what we did to create our baby, it should be me, not Regina or our little girl."

"Our little girl," Henry said. "I remember when my little girl was born. It was the happiest day of my life. To be able to hold her in my arms, it was beyond magical. I loved Regina more than life itself."

He moved closer to the bed and placed a hand on top of Regina's even though she couldn't feel it or see him. "What I wouldn't have given to have been able to walk her down the aisle. Even if meant symbolically that I was giving her up."

"She loved you too."

"I know. But I wasn't always the best father. I should have protected her better from her mother. I should have done things to keep her from going down the path she did. You should have seen her when she was younger – the picture of innocence. She used to smile and it would make you smile in return just to see it. Life took that away from her until she met you."

"Maybe not meeting me," Emma said. "We didn't exactly get along that great in the beginning."

"Still you fell in love with her and she with you. Love is a gift – one that not everyone gets to experience, which is why when it comes around you have to embrace it."

"I have embraced it. I love your daughter more than life itself."

Henry looked at her and Emma thought he looked sad for a moment.

"The child inside of her …" he started to say and then hesitated looking again at his daughter. "The child is part of each of you – her magic has ensured that – and as such no matter what happens, she will carry on for both of you."

"Are you saying that our baby will be ok? She will be born ok?"

"Yes," Henry said. "Your daughter will be born, but there will be complications. Not for the baby however."

Emma looked at Regina. "But Regina's going to be ok, right?"

"That I do not know," Henry said. "All I know is the birth process will be rough for her. It's at that time that she will need you the most. It's your job to make sure you are there."


	7. Chapter 7

Regina couldn't stand it – lying in this bed knowing her wife was on another floor still in a coma, still fighting to come back to their family.

If she was certain of one thing it was that – No matter where Emma was she would always fight to get back to them. Family was the most important thing to Emma. Regina understood why – she hadn't one growing up. Regina had once apologized to her for all her actions which led to Emma growing up that way, but Emma stopped her – telling her it was all in the past and they weren't living for the past, they were living for the future.

The future was now growing inside of her.

She had wanted to know the gender of the baby, but she let Emma talk her into keeping it a surprise. It was not easy for her because without knowing the gender of the baby it made designing the nursery excruciating for her. If it was a girl she could have gone with pink; if a boy, a nice soft blue. Without knowing it was harder to know the perfect color.

Emma of course thought she was putting too much thought into it. Maybe she had gone a little over board by asking Emma to examine 32 different shades of yellow, but it to her it needed to be perfect.

Their baby represented their future. She or he would be Henry's little sibling. Henry would be the bigger brother, watching over him or her as older siblings do. When their son or daughter couldn't come to Regina or Emma, they would turn to Henry for whatever they needed.

Emma and Regina would watch their children grow as they grow old together.

Regina had never considered the possibility they wouldn't grow old together. It didn't seem possible after all they had gone through that they wouldn't be given the opportunity to do it.

"Emma," she said, touching her belly. "You are going to hold our child in your arms."

"I hope so," Emma said. She had been watching over Regina – refusing to go back to her room. Regina's father had disappeared like the rest and Emma didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to fight to get back to her family. All she knew was her place was at Regina's side.

Their baby girl was going to be fine.

Her relief over that was tempered only by the fact she didn't know what would happen to Regina. What happened to her was inconsequential as long as her family was ok, but Henry had said she needed to be there when Regina gave birth. She still had time. They were still five weeks out from their birth date.

Since Regina had been on bed rest there had been no more complications. Snow had been keeping a close eye on Regina, for which Emma was most grateful. Whether Regina was grateful or not was another matter. She couldn't help but smile when yesterday Snow had again told Regina that under no circumstances would she be getting out of that bed to see Emma and as soon as Snow left the room Regina had said in a low voice, "this has to be payback for the whole stepmother thing."

She loved this woman so much. She wanted to hold her child in her arms, hold Henry in her arms and hold her wife in her arms and she would do anything to get there. It sounded selfish, she knew, but if being selfish got her back to her family it didn't matter to her.

"Would you really be willing to do anything?"

Emma looked to the door. "Oh hell no."

"I knew you were going to be trouble the moment I laid eyes on you. I never thought my daughter would be stupid enough to marry you though," Cora said.


	8. Chapter 8

Cora moved toward Regina's bed and Emma quickly intercepted her.

"That is close enough," Emma warned.

"You don't think I would do anything to hurt my daughter, do you?"

"You've got some nerve. I am not going to let you anywhere near her. In fact don't call her your daughter because you have never done anything to deserve the title of mother."

"And you are what mother of the year?" Cora said. "Tell me Savior, are you so determined to have this child to prove you can not give this one up?"

"Get out," Emma said.

"Doesn't work that way," Cora said.

"Then how does it work? I am so sick and tired of this bullshit," she said. "Is there someway for me to return to my body and wake up, or not?"

"Of course there is."

"Then what is it?"

"Let me see my daug … let me see Regina."

"Forget it. I would rather stay here in limbo, purgatory or whatever this is than let you anywhere near her."

"Touching, my dear, really it is," Cora said, but she waved her hand and Emma went flying against the wall and she was held there. "But it's inconsequential. You can't stop me."

Cora moved closer to the bed.

"No," Emma said trying to free herself. "Stay away from her."

"Relax," Cora said dismissively. She looked at her daughter who was oblivious to anyone else being in the room. "Regina was always beautiful. I knew as she grew older that she would be captivating to the right kind of person."

Cora turned to Emma at this last part. "And in case you are wondering you are not the right person."

"I don't have your blessing, shocking," Emma said. "You do realize I am royalty so you sort of got your wish of Regina marrying well."

Cora reached out and put her hand on Regina's belly. "My first grandchild."

"Henry would be your first grandchild," Emma said. "If you were actually a part of this family."

"You don't think if I was still alive that Regina wouldn't be welcoming to me? She loved me. I loved her too, in the only way I could."

"If you expect me to feel sorry for you because you took out your own heart, you can forget it. Did you know Regina still wakes up sometimes in the middle of the night, and she just needs me to hold her? She wakes because of the bad things that happened to her, things you were a part of. She hates being restrained in any way all because you would use magic to restrain her. So don't fault me when you are the one who did more to try and destroy her life than anyone else."

"Tell me Miss Swan, would you really do anything to be with her again?"

"Yes."

Cora walked over to where Emma was stuck against the wall.

"I am sorry, but I can't do anything to help you get back to Regina, but maybe I can help her come to you," she said and she raised her hand to Emma's eye level and then clenched her fist.

Regina cried out in pain, holding her abdomen.

"What are you doing?" Emma panicked.

"Getting ready to meet my granddaughter," Cora said before disappearing. Emma felt the magic release her and she ran to Regina's side. Regina was trying to catch her breath through the pain.

"Somebody help us!" Emma screamed. "Regina, baby, hold on. Somebody, please! Help us."


	9. Chapter 9

Emma could only stand there and watch as nurses and then a doctor rushed into the room. Regina was holding her abdomen and clenching her teeth in pain. A nurse pulled back the blanket on her and Emma and everyone else saw what looked like a small patch of blood staining the hospital gown.

"You got to hang in there," Emma said. "The baby is going to be ok. She's going to be ok. Don't look down there, just look at me."

But Regina couldn't look at her – couldn't see her or hear her.

The doctor ordered them to move Regina from the room.

Emma followed them out as they moved her down the hall into a surgical room. Emma stopped at the door, and looked at her wife one more time before she turned and ran. She ran until she got back to her own hospital room where her body was still lying there unconscious.

"Get up," she said. "Damn you, wake up. Your wife and your daughter are in danger. Get up!"

She backed away for a moment and then got closer to the bed. "Do you think this is tough? Do you think this is the most difficult thing you have ever had to do? Because let me clue you in, you stupid bitch, the most difficult thing will be if you are still lying there while your wife is fighting for her life. If anything happens to her or your daughter, it will devastate you."

"You need to fight God damn it. Fight. You haven't come this far, you haven't fought to get here, to get the family you always wanted to lose it now. So you listen to me, you fight. You want to live. You have everything to live for. Please, wake up."

Her body continued to lie there.

She stumbled backward and ran back to where they had taken Regina. Inside the room they had Regina under sedation already and Emma watched as they were clearly trying to remove the baby. She moved to the head of the bed, staring down at her wife who appeared much like her body was – as if it was sleeping.

"Her BP is dropping," one of the nurses announced.

"The baby will die if we don't get it out now," the doctor said.

Emma didn't understand – the baby was supposed to be ok. Her daughter was supposed to be ok she wanted to tell them.

Then she heard the clear tone coming from her right, she saw the flat line registering across the screen.

"Regina, no!" she cried out. "No, you have to fight."

The room was a flurry of activity as the doctor began giving orders to revive Regina, but he had his own hands full. Emma watched as he pulled the baby out, handing it to a waiting nurse who cleared its mouth. Emma's eyes went wide at the first sound of her child crying.

"Emma?"

She looked up, past the doctors and the nurses at the doorway, where Regina stood. Emma looked back down at Regina's body and then back to her standing there. Regina took a couple of steps forward to the nurse who was trying to clear blood off of the baby.

"It's a girl," Regina said. "We had a baby girl. She's beautiful."

Regina took her eyes off the baby then and seemed to realize now where she was at, has her eyes took in her own body.

"Emma?"

"No," Emma breathed out. "It's not fair. This can't be happening. Please. Somebody help us. This isn't how it's supposed to happen. Take me instead. Please, don't do this. Take me instead."

She moved away from the bed but couldn't bring herself to move closer to Regina. She turned her back to all of it. She heard the doctor giving orders – they were starting to use the defibrillator on her.

"Emma," Regina said again. This time she was so close she reached out and touched Emma's shoulder. Emma felt it and turned. "I'm sorry," Emma said. She wasn't even sure if the tears were real or not, if she was real or not. "I'm so sorry."

"What …" Regina stopped and grabbed at her chest.

"Are you ok?"

"I …," Regina cried out in pain.

And then she disappeared.

The sound of a beep … beep … beep drew Emma's attention back to Regina's body. The monitor was registering her heart beat. They had brought her back.

Emma dropped to her knees in relief.

"You really love her, don't you?"

Emma looked up at the man who had just entered the room. He walked over not to her, but to Regina – taking the spot she had vacated at the top of the bed. He leaned over and kissed her on her forehead.

"Who are you?"

"I loved her too."

"You're Daniel," Emma said getting to her feet. "Aren't you?"


	10. Chapter 10

Emma hadn't wanted to leave the hospital but she didn't have any choice as one second she was there and the next she and Daniel were walking in a field near the Storybrooke Stables.

"Are you sure she is going to be alright?" Emma asked.

"She will recover yes, and the baby will be fine," Daniel replied.

"So is this the part where you whisk me off to Heaven or wherever people go when they die?"

Daniel stopped walking and considered her a moment, "is that what you think this is about?"

"I don't have a clue as to what this is about. All I know is when my wife needed me I wasn't there. I couldn't help her. I said I would be willing to die if she was spared, and I am willing to do that."

"Tell me," he said as he started to walk again. "How did you end up falling in love with her?"

"There was never one thing, it was gradual. When I first came to Storybrooke if someone had told me I would end up married to Regina I would have laughed at them. We butted heads from the beginning. She changed from the person I first met. She showed there was this completely other side to her. But I didn't fall in love with her because she was good person, because she isn't all the time, it was just the totality of her – everything that makes her Regina is what I love."

"That totality of her, I like that. It's describes being in love with Regina very well. When we met, we too were different. She was from a completely different status class than me, but that didn't bother her."

"She loved you," Emma said.

"Does that bother you?"

"What? No. I mean no offense but you are dead."

"Yes, I am, but how long has Regina held on to that love for me? Longer than you have been alive?"

"Look, I know that Regina loved you. I loved Neal too. But it doesn't mean we get one love in this world and once it's gone we won't ever love again. I had to go through that shit with Regina. She felt like her happy ending was gone forever when you died. Did she keep that love for you in her heart, yes, and I am ok with that. It's part of who she is, and like I said I am all in for all of her. You aren't a threat to my love for her, or her love for me."

They had stopped again and Daniel regarded her. "I like you," he said before he again resumed walking.

"Great. My wife's dead love likes me. Does that buy me anything like for instance the answer to what the hell is going on here, or better yet, how I return home to my wife and children?"

"You don't understand any of this yet, do you?"

"How am I supposed to understand anything when every ghost I encounter won't give me clear answers? All I want to know is how do I get back in my body."

"Getting back to your family is entirely up to you," Daniel said.

"You know what if you want to be as unhelpful as the rest of them, I am going back to the hospital," she said walking in the direction of town.

"You are the only one holding yourself back from returning to your family," Daniel called out to her.

"What the hell does that even mean?" Emma said turning back to him.

He walked to her. "How did you end up in that hospital bed Emma?"

"I was shot."

"How did you get shot?"

"We've already been through that," Emma said walking away from him.

"Why didn't you pull your gun out?" he said catching up to her.

"I didn't have time."

"You had time."

"I froze. It happens. I am not proud of it, but it happens."

Daniel stopped and Emma didn't know why, but she stopped too.

"When you are ready to accept what happened, you will find your way home."


	11. Chapter 11

Emma had to walk all the way back to the hospital. Apparently it was too much to ask for a teleport. She tried not to think of what Daniel said. She tried not to think of what any of them had to say. The only thing that mattered was getting back to the hospital and checking on Regina and the baby.

It took her a long time and while her route would have taken her by the scene of her shooting she avoided the area entirely. Once back at the hospital, she had to walk around in order to find Regina as it wasn't like she could ask anyone.

She found her unconscious in a room. Henry was sitting in a chair by the bed. She could only imagine what this must be like for him – both of his mothers in the hospital. She wanted to hug him, let him know Regina would be ok, do all the reassuring things she needed to as a mother.

While she came there to check on Regina, she found she was studying Henry even more. Her son. She had given birth to him, and she had given him away. Even though they were a family now, that decision continued to haunt her. This was her baby boy and she hadn't even held him in her arms before letting them take him away.

She had missed all the important parts of his childhood – his first steps, his first words, this first day of kindergarten. When Regina gave her the set of memories to make her and Henry believe they had lived a life together, Emma felt joy because she didn't know they were fake. But once she drank that potion and she knew, she felt the same weight of her decision to give him up.

And she had to wonder, could she have been the kind of mother that she thought she was to him in their fake memories. If she could go back in time for real and not give him up, would she have succeeded?

It wasn't the first time she had these thoughts. Whenever she did Regina would say all the right things. It seemed Regina always knew the right things to say, to her and to Henry. She remembered when they sat Henry down to tell him about how Regina was pregnant. Regina made sure he was comfortable with all of it, and made him a part of the process the entire way. As he helped paint the nursery, Regina told him, "You were born to be a big brother." Henry had just beamed at her.

That was Regina though; she had a way of comforting people that most people never got to see because of her past. Emma and Henry, they were the lucky ones.

She wanted to be as much as the mom to the new baby as Regina. But she didn't know if she was up to the task.

As that thought entered her brain, he mind flashed for a moment to her drive as she responded to the armed robbery, but she blocked it out. There was nothing she could have done, she knew that. The rest of it didn't matter, she told herself.

What she had been thinking about during the drive hadn't affected how she reacted at the scene.

She stood there in the room until her mother came to get Henry to take him home. It was getting late. Henry squeezed Regina's hand and then asked Snow if they could stop in her room too to say good night.

Emma continued to stay in the room with Regina, hoping she would wake up. Finally, she got up and visited the other place in the hospital she needed to – the nursery.


	12. Chapter 12

Unlike other people who waited outside the glass partition to view their newborn babies, Emma merely followed a nurse inside. It's not like anyone would see her anyway. There she was – baby Swan-Mills. They hadn't decided on name – another debate between them. Emma had wanted something simple whether it was a boy or a girl. For a boy she chose Sam and for a girl she chose Samantha. She figured it was a good choice either way. Regina wanted something that had more of a flair. She was thinking Ayla if it was a girl or Augustine it was a boy.

Personally Emma was hoping this was one debate she won before her kid ended up with a name that would be misspelled or mispronounced by grade school teachers every where.

But as she looked down at her baby she realized it probably didn't matter (although really Ayla, she thought).

"You are so beautiful," Emma said smiling at the sleeping baby. "You are going to grow up and be just as beautiful as your mother that would Regina. She has already warned me about spoiling you, but Henry, that's your older brother, Henry and I know it's Regina who will do the spoiling. She is going to love you so much. I love you so much. I just want to be able to hold you in my arms."

Her mind flashed back again to her car ride to when she was responding to the robbery. She tried to block it out. She didn't want her first moments with her daughter ruined. She shook her head. Why did Daniel have to put that doubt in her mind?

She returned her attention to her baby girl. She seemed so perfect. How could anyone think that she and Regina had done anything wrong by using magic to help create such a perfect little girl.

"This isn't fair," she said. "I want to be your mommy. I want to watch you take your first steps, say your first words, take you to a zoo. I want to do all the things I never got to do with Henry. I don't want to make the same mistake."

Her mind flashed again, and this time she backed away from the baby bed.

Mistakes.

She left the nursery and went back to her room. She sat on the chair beside the bed.

"Mistakes. You were thinking about mistakes while you driving to that armed robbery. You didn't have your head in the game. You were thinking about a conversation you were having with Regina the night before."

Her mind flashed to that moment.

_They were lying in their bed and she was reading a child's book to Regina's bare stomach because she had read that babies can hear in the womb and can come out feeling a familiarity with voices they hear. Regina wasn't so convinced, but since Emma got her the mint chocolate ice cream she was craving, she wasn't complaining._

_Emma could lay there and stare in complete awe of that belly for hours knowing inside there was little piece of her growing._

_"Your parents want us to come over for dinner on Sunday," Regina said._

_"Do you think Henry will be ok with me and the baby?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"You know, this is my first time raising a kid for real. You got to do all that stuff with Henry, I didn't and I just don't want him to resent me for not being there for him in the same way."  
"Henry could never resent you. He loves you and he understands these are different circumstances from when he was a kid. You need to stop beating yourself up over it."_

_"It's kind of hard not to. I went to prison. I gave him up. What if, what if I'm not good at this whole being a mom to a young kid thing?"_

_Regina looked at her, "where is all of this coming from?"_

_"I don't know, I just … you know all of this stuff, how to change a baby, how to hold them properly, what the right kinds of foods are for them and the right kinds of diapers. I don't know any of it."_

_"I didn't either. When I got Henry I was a complete novice. You have to learn as you go. No one is perfect."_

_"You are," Emma said leaning over and kissing her and then kissing her stomach. "I just don't want to screw up."_

"But you did screw up," Emma said to herself. "You screwed up before your child was even born. You kept thinking over and over again about how you gave Henry up. How you laid in the hospital bed after giving birth to him and you just knew that you didn't have it you to be a mom. You knew you couldn't give him the kind of life he deserved so you gave him up. And that is what was on your mind as you drove. You kept thinking am I good enough now? Can I be the kind of mom this kid deserves? And you thought …"

She buried her head in her hands, tears coming down her cheeks.

"You thought you weren't ready for this, that it was happening too soon. You thought maybe you had made a mistake by telling Regina you were ready to have a child with her. You wanted her to be happy, and you said yes, but maybe you weren't ready. You thought … you maybe you needed some time, some time away to really think about if you could do this. And then you were there, you were there outside of the store and the guy he came out. He had a gun. You got out of the car, but you didn't move to draw your sidearm because … because you heard that word."

She was suddenly no longer in the hospital. She was standing there watching it as it unfolded.

_The guy came out, he had a gun. She was out of the car and he had a shot on her, but he didn't raise the gun._

_"Daddy!"_

_She looked to her left. A little kid had just broken free from his mother and went running toward the guy. He has a son, her mind told her in those quick seconds. He has a son and he's going to go to prison for robbery and his son, his son isn't going to be raised by his daddy. The kid started to get closer. She couldn't allow that kid to get between her and his dad. She moved slightly to her left and yelled "stop" to the little boy who couldn't be more than 3. She turned back to the suspect and that is when she heard the first gunshot. It pounded into her, followed by the second one. She again saw herself down on the ground bleeding. The guy picked up his son and went running away._

It had all happened so quickly. But it shouldn't have happened that way at all. She knew how she should have responded, but her head wasn't in the game that day. Her head was still thinking how she might not be good enough to be a mom. Her head was thinking how would this new kid feel about his or her mom had been in prison. Yes, Neal had been a major reason she ended up there, but it was her actions that put her in that position. Just like that guy who robbed the store of money, and some promotional stuffed bear the hardware store had. Even as he was robbing the place he had seen something his son might want and he took it. So unlike her.

She had given birth to Henry and while she may say she gave him up to give him a better life, she knew a part of her gave him up not because she was thinking of him, but because she was thinking of herself.

Just like all the doubts she had been having, they weren't about Henry or her new child, they were about her.

She turned and went running, running back to the hospital.

She ran until she was back in her hospital room and she stood over her unconscious body.

"I get it now," Emma said. "I understand. The people –Eva, Graham, Henry, hell even Cora and Daniel, they weren't real, not really. You did this to yourself, which means you are the one who has to bring yourself back. Eva – she questioned your faith in your love of Regina. There is no doubt there. You love her and she loves you. She loves you despite your flaws and maybe because of your flaws."

"Graham, he asked why you didn't shoot – you said it because that guy was a kid, but that wasn't true. You didn't shoot because you showed up at the scene unprepared because you were busy thinking of your own doubts."

"Henry, he was just you mind's way of saying that your child would be ok, that no matter what happened along the way it would be ok because you weren't alone, you have Regina and you have your son."

"Cora was there to challenge you. She asked you if you would do anything to get back to your wife. You said yes but you didn't understand at the time that to get back you didn't need to fight Cora, you need to fight yourself – fight your doubts, fight to be the woman Regina deserves and the mother Henry and your daughter deserve."

"Daniel, Daniel said getting back to my family was entirely up to me. He asked how I got here in the hospital room. He didn't mean literally. He meant I had to accept my part in this. My part – the part that didn't believe she was ready, the part that was stupid enough to think maybe she needed some time away to process all of this. Well I am done processing it. I am ready so wake up. Wake up and be the person you know you can be – love your wife, love your family and you will figure out the rest of with them."

…

One year later …

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Samantha. Happy birthday to you," they all sang and then Emma who was holding Samantha in her lap helped her daughter blow out the candles as Regina took pictures.

Samantha's first birthday party was exactly what Emma had hoped it would be, complete with Samantha grabbing fistfuls of cake and Regina hastily trying to clean her up while Henry took the distraction to grab his own piece of cake before his sister destroyed the whole thing.

By the end of the day, the whole family was wiped out, but of course Regina insisted on cleaning up everything right after the guests left. Emma put Samantha down to bed that night, standing for a while over her. She could hardly believe her daughter was one already. It seemed like yesterday that she had been born – a process that both Emma and Regina missed due to their separate medical conditions.

She finally shut the door and let her daughter sleep, checking in on Henry and sharing a video game with him before heading to bed where Regina was already at reading a book. She got ready for bed and slipped under the covers.

"I can't believe she is a year old," Regina said.

"I was thinking the same thing," Emma said. "And about how we both were unconscious when it happened."

"I'd rather not think about that part of it. I was so worried you were never going to wake up."

"But I did. I woke before you did as a matter of fact."

"Yes you did. Imagine my surprise at waking to find myself sharing a room with you as you held our daughter in your arms with Henry right at your side. It was sight I still cherish. Although there is one thing about all of it that I have always wondered about."

"What is that?"

"While you were in a coma, you said you have some weird dreams."

"I did," she said. "It was my mind's way of sorting things out."

"Yet, when you woke up, you insisted to the nurse that you be brought to my room. How did you know I was in the hospital?"

It wasn't the first time Emma had wondered that exact same thing. "I don't know," Emma said. "It was just one of those things I guess. The mind is pretty powerful, and it can convince of a lot of things."

"Yes, I suppose, it's just …"

"Just what …"

"When I was asleep in the hospital. I also had this dream that I died on the table giving birth to Samantha. And you were there in the room with me and I saw the nurse holding our daughter. When I woke up and saw you in that bed holding the baby, I somehow knew you were holding a little girl, not a boy. It was weird."

"Yeah," Emma said. "Weird."


End file.
